20 weeks - WHAT?!

I realized last week that I am halfway done with this pregnancy! The two little ones on the outside take much more of my attention than the littlest one on the inside and the distractions have made the time fly. August feels around the corner and I am going to try to take moments to savor this experience and anticipate our newest family member.

This has been my most difficult pregnancy, not because of the pregnancy itself, but because of life. With Cadence I had no other little ones at home so while I was working long hours and traveling, I could still plant myself on the couch when I got home - that is not an option anymore. With Jack Ranger, I had a less rigorous work schedule, was working from home and Cadence was at Mimi's house during the day which was about 2 minutes drive. This meant I could take breaks during the day to rest and didn't have to commute or even spend much time in the car at all. With this pregnancy, I am a bit older, have a long work commute, have been traveling domestically and internationally and I have two little ones at home that need and deserve my attention when I get home from work. The combination has made for a tired mama.

Last night I was putting the kids to bed and they were whiny, I was tired and I finally got everyone in their jammies and their teeth brushed and when I put JR in his bed he said, "Mom! My bed is sandy!" He was right, he must have had pockets full of sand the last time he was in his bed so I started stripping off the sheets and as I tried to put the fresh sheet on, it wasn't cooperating and I just sat down beside the bed and started crying. Cadence and Ranger were both trying to comfort me and eventually they went on got cat masks and put on a little kitty cat show that did make me smile. I told them I was tired and the sheet was frustrating me and sometimes it is ok to cry and then you have to pray, take some deep breaths, think about things you are thankful for and get back up and move on. During prayers later that evening Cadie prayed, "God, please help mom to get rest and feel better and please help peanut to grow big and strong." They both have sweet hearts and I do have so much to be thankful for.

Pregnancy is miraculous and emotional. It is amazing to feel that little sweet new life kicking in my stomach. At the same time, it makes me want to crawl in my bed and stay there. My God is great, I have so much help and support, I have a husband who loves me and is willing to help with the daily tasks and while part of me knows I need to relish this time, the other part of me hopes the second half goes as quickly and the first.