Sleep Deprivation

This is going to be a whiny post, but I just need to vent. I have always loved and needed sleep. The lack of sleep has been one of the hardest parts of infant care for me. I am now on my second night of less than 2 hours of sleep. I don't know if it is me and I am not doing things right or if maybe the baby is having growing pains or more reflux or whatever but she just cries and whines all night long. I have tried everything I know to do - feeding, tummy medicine, changed clothes, changed diapers, walked her around, rocked, let her cry it out, have tried the babywise and happiest baby techniques, last night I was so desperate that I even put her back in the swing to see if she would sleep there - nothing works. It seems like she will have a few good nights and then a few horrible ones and that has gone on since she was born. I try to keep the best attitude I can, but I find myself on about 50% of the days just hoping, praying, and waiting for her to take a nap so I can close my eyes for awhile.

I feel like the lack of sleep is affecting so many parts of my life:
1) Mothering - No sleep is not good for me or the baby. I feel inadequate that I can't figure out what to do to help Cadie sleep and I know I am not doing everything I can to be a good mother on the days when I want to just fall over.
2) Marriage - One example: I am SOOOO thankful for the one night a week that John and Dawna (Grant's parents) take Cadie overnight. Grant looks forward to time together and going out on those nights which I totally understand and am glad that he wants to do things with me. However, all I ever want to do is crawl into bed and sleep until we need to go pick her up. I try my best to be present with Grant and have a nice evening but I know I am not totally myself. I am also very emotional and sensitive which he gets the brunt of.
3) Friendships - There are so many friends (Crystal Crews-Klimczak, Kit Bessenbacher, Cori Steinman, etc.) that I haven't kept in touch with like I should. Whenever I have a free moment I sleep, empty the stinky diaper pail, shower, try to fix a healthy meal, etc. I feel like after 6 months I should be past survival mode.
4) Weight - I am still carrying around too much baby weight that I can't seem to get rid of. I joined a workout group about 3 weeks ago that meets 5:30-6:30am 4 days a week since the morning is really the only consistent time I have to get away, but when the alarm goes off and I have had only 2-5 hours of sleep it is almost impossible to get up and go. Then, since I am so tired I think I eat more during the day. So as you can see I am just in a bad cycle.
5) Work - I go back to work in 4 days. I am as prepared as I can be and I am very positive about going back. Cadie is going to do great at her grandma's, I am ready to get back in the game, I think nursing will work out just fine... The big catch is how will I be able to work with no sleep?!?!? I know Grant will help as much as he can, but he needs sleep too because his job is just as intense.

Ok - enough. You get the picture. Please play for peaceful sleep for Cadie, Grant, and me.

Mama D

Dorisnel (Mama D) is Cadie's great-grandmother. Mama D is Grant's, mother's, mother and is one of the most beautiful women inside and out. She is at the hospital right now after a recent stroke and we went to visit her today. Cadie showed off lots of her tricks. She laughed and giggled, threw her toys around the room, and was just generally cute. It was a special time and we were glad to see Mama D and I think she also had a good time. We love you Mama D!!

Baby Double Date & Prunes

Yesterday was as close to perfect as a day can get. Cadie slept in until 7:45am, tried a new food - prunes, we went to the grocery store, had a playdate with neighborhood friends, took 3 hour nap in the afternoon, and then hung out with the Walsh family.

This is a video of Cadie trying out the prunes. She was hilarious! I was laughing out loud every time she took a bite.

Cadie loves trip to the store, really she loves trips anyplace. I try to get her out of the house at least once a day or she starts to go a little stir crazy. She is sitting up pretty well now and she just sits in the basket and checks out everything and everyone. She did NOT like it when I took the shopping list away from her because she had chewed it to streads, but she got over it quickly.Cadie LOVED her first playgroup. She was so tired afterwards that she took a 3 hour nap - it was awesome (both the nap and the playdate). My friend Shauna hosted and we had two little girls and two little boys. We are all first time working moms with babies under 9 months and we all live within about 9 houses of each other.

Cadie lounging at the playdate. She makes everything her personal lounge chair. She just loves to prop up her feet.

Cadie's tired face at the gun shop. That is right, the gun shop. Dad took us and the Walsh's to the gun range to go shooting last night. It is buy one get one half off on Friday nights. Very Texan, I know.

Dallas Blooms

My sister Courtney, my mom, and I have been having a girls weekend in Dallas and it has been a wonderful time. We have been to the spa, shopped a little, and today we went to Dallas Blooms at the Arboretum. It was simply beautiful. The sun was shining, the flowers were incredible, and I loved being there with my girls.

My mom loving on Cadie.In high school we used to have Spirit Week and "Crazy Dress Up" day was always one of our favorites. The point of crazy dress up day was just to wear the most horribly matched clothes. My sister CJ has accused me of making Cadie look like she is participating in crazy dress-up day. Her outfit today evolved into a cute onesie, stripped socks, poka-dot pants, and a blue hat. Cadie usually leaves the house looking coordinated, but as the weather changes and spit-up happens she ends up in whatever I have in my diaperbag.

Smiling in Bed

I confess, I sleep with Cadie in bed all the time. She pretty much takes all her naps in my bed and I often take a nap with her. I love snuggling with her and when she wakes up she just looks up at me with the best face ever. Here are some pics from after her nap this morning.Dad and Cadie enjoying the weather last weekend. She loves playing with her feet.

First Food

Cadie had her first solid food this past Saturday (besides the chocoloate sauce and whip cream her dad feeds her). She had cereal in her high chair and she seemed to like it. She swirled it around in her mouth a lot so she really didn't eat very much of it, but I think she got some down. It was a fun milestone, but also made me a kinda sad. She has gotten everything she needs from me for the past 14 months and it felt like a big step toward her independence. Of course I want her to be independent, but it feels bittersweet.

We had lots of visitors this past week. Below are two of my college roommates, Jenny Miller-Sessions and Brooke Halterman-Matamoros. They are sweet friends and I loved catching up with them. Brooke is due with her second son in 4 weeks!

Jenny's son Simon and Cadie hanging out on Friday morning.Saturday another great college friend, Christy Rome, came up to visit us from Austin.

Sink Bath

We discovered recently that Cadie enjoys naked time. We strip her down and let her roll around on a blanket. She goes totally crazy wiggling, screaming, and laughing. During some of her naked time in Kansas City she got particulary messy (spit-up, pee, drool, etc. :) so we decided to give her a quick sink bath. She was so cute!