Written with love as my mother's day gift from my Dad. He embodied me as he wrote this special blog. My Dad has given his all to his parents over the past few months and my Dad continues to be an incredible example of loyalty to family, generosity, and hard work. I hope I get the opportunity to love my parents as well during their final chapters as my parents have loved their parents.
"If you are a reader of
my blog, you might remember my post on March 6, 2023 entitled “Kansas City
Pilgrimage”. A lot has transpired in a
very short period of time between March and April. First of all, I am soooo very glad that Grant
and I and all 3 kids were able to spend a special time with my Grandma Margaret
and Grandpa Weldon as they relocated from their home of over 40 years to a very
nice assisted living facility in Lenexa, KS.
We all had a great time talking with Grandma and Grandpa and it was a
special time for me and my family.
In the 6 weeks following
their move, my Grandma seemed to be thriving in her new environment but
Grandpa’s health continued to deteriorate.
Grandpa continued to have difficulty breathing his heart continued to be
a concern. My Aunt Kathy is able to be
with them everyday to check their progress because she only lives about 5
minutes away from them. She had a trip
scheduled in April to go spend time at her other home in Idaho so my Dad went
to Kansas City to be with Grandma and Grandpa.
He went to KC on April 8 and planned to be there for 2 weeks. While he was there, he ended up spending most
of each day with Grandma and Grandpa.
Grandpa became very weak and unsteady and even fell twice. On April 19 Dad took Grandpa to a doctor
appointment and they were alarmed at his very low blood pressure and he was
very dehydrated. They adjusted some of
his meds and said to keep a close eye on him.
On April 20 Dad asked the staff NP to come check Dad. She was there quickly and checked him out and
said she felt Grandpa needed to be in a hospital for evaluation. Dad took Grandpa to KU Medical Center that
same day and they admitted Grandpa with significant concerns regarding his lung
function. Grandpa was able to breath in
oxygen but he was not being able to exhale to expel carbon dioxide. He was gradually being poisoned. Due to his age of 94 he was not a candidate
for intubation so they used a breathing mask for the next 12 hours to lower the
CO2 levels. Grandpa was very disoriented
with the mask and it was simply not a sustainable treatment. On Friday morning, April 21 they checked his
CO2 levels and they were much better.
They took the breathing mask off and began using supplemental oxygen and
the CO2 levels went right back up. Later
that afternoon the doctors told my Dad and Grandma that there were no medical
treatments they could do and it was time to consider hospice for Grandpa. My Dad and Grandma went his room and told
Grandpa that they needed to take him to a different place where they could take
better care of him and Grandpa said he just wanted to go home. Dad then took his hand and said, “Dad, we
need to go to a hospice facility so you can be comfortable”. As the reality of those words sunk in,
Grandpa got a tear in his eye and said, “ok, I understand, I will do what we
need to do.” It was very hard for the
three of them but they did it together.
The transport came and moved Grandpa to hospice about 7:00 Friday
night. Grandma stayed with Grandpa for a
very sweet time together. They have been
married almost 72 years. My Dad sat
during the night with Grandpa just holding his hand and talking to him. Grandpa was not responsive after 2:00 AM and
took his last breath at 7:45 AM on Saturday, April 22. He was comfortable and did not suffer in any
way, but it all happened very fast and took us all by surprise.
The next week was a
flurry of emails, texts, and phone calls as plans were made for travel to
Kansas for his funeral on April 29. I
was able to attend and Cadie went with me.
The small church in Grandpa’s home town of Horton, KS was packed and
overflowing. The service was done by my
Aunt Kathy, my Uncle Mike and my Dad.
They did a great job of honoring Grandpa. We had family and friends from all over the
US in attendance and it was a wonderful tribute to a great man. The graveside service included a 21 gun
salute because Grandpa is a WWII era veteran.
The women of the church provided a light lunch after the graveside
service and it was a wonderful opportunity to connect with family and friends.
The last month has been a period of great grief,
celebration and reflection on what it means to be a part of a godly
family. I am blessed beyond measure as I
remember my Grandpa and what he meant to our family."
Cadie and I traveled with Kelly from Dallas and it was a treat to get to be with her and catch up. My parents booked us all hotel rooms at the Hyatt Place Kansas City / Lenexa City Center. The rooms were very nice and we enjoyed having B stay with us in our room on the second night. On Friday night, Kelly, Cadie, CJ and I grabbed some food and went over to eat and visit with Grandma at Westchester. On Saturday evening after the services, Alan came to the hotel and we all sat in the lobby and ate together and had a wonderful time reflecting and laughing. On Sunday, Cadie and I stopped by Aunt Kathy's on the way out of town and said one final good bye to Mark, Aunt Kathy, and Grandma. It was so meaningful to have these types of special moments of connection with family over the weekend.
The service on Saturday was packed and it was a beautiful tribute to my grandfather. His one living brother, Morris, was there and his whole family. I was doing ok until they played "Well Done" which sounded very much like "Weldon" and the words were so touching and appropriate for my grandfather that the tears flowed at that point. My Mom had very thoughtfully put one of grandpa's handkerchiefs on each of the chairs in the front two rows and I was grateful to have that special memento and it also came in handy.
On Saturday afternoon, the family made one final stop at the Farm. Sarah and he family had moved the deep freezer in the hallway outside the back bathroom. As I walked by, there was lots of dirt, but I saw something that I didn't think looked like dirt. I leaned down and picked it up and it was a solid gold ring. When my Dad walked by, I had it on my thumb and I held up my hand and said, "Dad, could this be important?" He responded, oh my goodness. That is my Dad's wedding ring. He lost it years ago. Hold on to that and give it to Grandma. When Grandma arrived, I showed her the ring and she teared up. She said, "I wish Weldon could be here. He would be thrilled the ring was found." I told her I thought he did know and he wanted her to have the ring on this exact day to know he was still with her.
